I tend to over think things. Blend this with perfectionist tendencies and you have a delicious "I Make Too Big of Deal of Things" Martini that will drown your sorrows with anxiety. This is exactly what happened to my little blog here. I started to take it too seriously. I started to add it to my ever growing To Do List. And if I missed an entry I felt like I was going to class without doing my homework.
This is also why I have never really started a journal because I would feel guilty if I didn't write in it on a regular basis. The good news is that I recognized how this simply just adds more stress to my life than I need, or anyone for that matter. A blog is a journal, just put on the web for everyone to see...so there you go.
I recently read (all the way to the end!) a book called "It Sucked and Then I Cried. How I Had a Baby, a Meltdown, and a Much Needed Margarita" by Heather Armstrong who is also the author of a very famous blog called Dooce. There were nights when I had to shove my face in the pillow I was laughing so hard and didn't want to wake up Eli who was sleeping next to me in the glow of my clip on book light. The book follows Heather through her struggles of becoming a new mom, the good, bad and ugly sides. It was exactly what I needed to read. At the end of her chapters she would write a tear jerking, heart warming, and giggle inducing letter to her daughter. After each one I really, really wished I would have done something similar for Babyhead.
But considering my history with journal writing and a blog that has sat lifeless for the last 4 months I instantly worried if this was just going to be another thing I was adding to my list and going to guilt trip myself about not doing. But I have turned over a new leaf dearest Blog and promised myself to just let things happen and not make such a big deal about everything. So I took an empty sketch book that has been laying around for years and wrote on the first page "One Liners." This is my book to Babyhead, only doing an entry when I feel like it and each entry can only be one (or a few) lines. And now that I have my little fingers typing away on you Blog I am going to incorporate that same style. Short entries, not so heavy topics, and when I get around to it. Except for this one...it is getting pretty long...the next one I promise.
In general, my "One Liners" concept is something I am going to try and incorporate to many aspects of my life. Just see everything on the lighter side.
WORST
Neglecting my blog for 4 months, but thinking about it almost everyday, and feeling like a loser that I wasn't doing it. Lame.
BEST
Starting the blog again
BEST BRENTWOOD GEM
We would pass this odd Chinese restaurant on a daily basis during our walks. Eli and I would always make snobby comments like "Who would eat there?" The simple sign "Chang's"reflected the very simple and outdated decor of this eatery located in the bottom of an office building. But our curiosity grew. And one night right before we ordered Orange Chicken from our regular spot Eli said "Let's try Chang's." I went in and took a gamble on Sweet and Sour Chicken, Pan Fried Chicken Dumplings, and BBQ Pork Fried Rice. As the hostess wrote our order down in Chinese, my stomach got a little excited. It has to be pretty authentic right? Let's just say that from that moment on we have had Chang's almost every week. Tonight I fell in love with the Vegetable Chow Main...I want to marry it.
BEST BABYHEAD MOMENT
After over 6 months of trying to teach Tavian sign language for "more" and "eat" he has finally got the hang of it. He can also sign for "all done" after we ask him. It is so fun to see him understand and communicate with him!
WORST BABYHEAD MOMENT
It finally happened. We have had lots of spills, trips, falls, and bumps, but the one on Saturday night beat them all to pulp. Babyhead was practicing his running back and forth across the family room floor, he tripped on a toy and went flying into the rail of the ottoman. He was crying so hard no sound was coming out until he threw up on me...twice. His right cheek swelled up and instantly turned purple. There is no worse feeling in the world than to see your Babyhead in that much pain I can tell you right now. We finally got him calmed down and laughing again, but I wanted to run screaming from the house. Eli said to get used to it, he is a boy. I know he's right, but every time I look at Tavian and see his purple cheek my heart breaks in half.
